To “commune” or to “come together may not describe your relationship at the moment.
Often people come for counselling for communication but a wide variety of other aspects of your relationship have impacted your ability to communicate. We want you to be able to see that it is the whole picture of your relationship that impacts how you communicate.
One of the ways we like to work with you is to teach you strategies for speaking to others in a way that does not get people defensive. Many of the complaints we here in all kinds of relationships is that when you go to speak and share your opinion or critical feedback, the other person gets offended and will bite back with defensiveness. We teach speaking skills that will help you get your point across in a way that reduces defensiveness and is more likely to help you be listened to.
Secondly, an area that we all seem to have a difficult time is in the area of listening. We often hear, “how can I validate someone when I disagree with them?”
This is one of the things we grapple with. In terms of validating the other person, it takes everything in us at times to put aside our own view so that we can listen first and then possibly we will get a chance to share our opinion.
Communication can be verbal or non verbal and in a sense we actually can’t NOT communicate. Did you know that about 90% of communication is body language? This is why the 10% of verbal communication is also important because it informs our body language. We go through the do’s and dont’s of communication and look at things you may be doing that could harm the relationships you have with others and make it so that your voice is heard while also making it more likely that others will listen to you.
Much of our communication is in our body language and the way we come across to others. It is also impacted by our history with the person, our mindset, perception and even our past. Sometimes the other person knows how to push our buttons and it can trigger something in us. Other times it may be a position that you hold strongly and the other person opposes. This can cause a situation where you feel gridlocked and it seems like your communication goes no where because you are so fixed in your position.
Some areas you may have issues communicating about are:
At iMentalHealth Counselling we want to make our best effort to come from a place of non judgement, genuineness and unconditional positive regard. Working with a local therapist on Communication will give you the tools necessary to improve your verbal and non verbal communication.
Are you low in mood and generally in a place of sadness for more than a two-week period?
EMDR is a body based approach that uses Bilateral Stimulation and works with the Adaptive information Processing system.
Building stronger relationships with friends, family, and loved ones
iMentalHealth Counselling wants to help you with healthy communication in your close relationships with friends, family and work.